effexor and jodi

I suppose it's significant to share what happened after the anniversary party.  I contacted my doctor and told him that my panic attacks were, if anything, worse on this drug, and I wanted to go off meds completely and see what happened.  After all, I was ON meds when I developed this panic disorder. He instructed my how to taper off the med. With what I experienced you would think I just stopped taking it cold turkey.  Extreme vertigo and nausea is what I remember the most.  Moving at all was a challenge. 

However, the decision to go off of meds led me to the best decision of my life, so I can't possibly regret it.  I was in therapy for a short while in early 2007. Once I bought my first house, I felt so happy! I didn't feel like there was a reason to be in therapy anymore.  A few months after I stopped seeing Nancy I got a letter from her that she was retiring, and if I chose to begin therapy again, I should contact a therapist in St. Matthews that she recommended. It was months before I decided to go back into therapy, but luckily I held onto that letter.

Once I decided to stop taking meds altogether, I decided that it would be smart to get some help getting through that.  Talk therapy, let's give it another try. So I called Jodi. 

My first session was December 17, 2007.  Just about 5 years ago. I actually had a mild panic attack on my first visit because I felt "trapped" for that 45 minutes in her office. It wasn't long before it became a safe place.

It was around Christmastime, and I recall that year I was getting my sister some books. This was back when I would shop at the actual mall at Christmas and I was at a bookstore when I decided to look for books on anxiety.  I found "The Idiot's Guide to Controlling Anxiety" and decided that I should give that a try.  That's when I first read the definition of agoraphobia.  

At my next session with Jodi, my second, I told her what I had read and that I thought I might have agoraphobia.  She informed me that she had already diagnosed me:  Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia. The OCD, depression, and generalized anxiety diagnoses would come later as we worked together.  But on my second session, she had me pegged.  I knew at that moment that she would help me. I was resistant to talk therapy for years. Even in my teen years, when my mother would suggest that I talk to someone to get through my angst, I would fervently resist. 

Don't be afraid to get help.  The stigma around therapy and meds is just the ignorance of people who don't understand. There is nothing wrong with getting help.  You could save your own life.