Today I'm taking a brief break from my normal posts (for which I know I am long overdue) and share a story that, despite its ending, fills me with hope and love.
A few years ago, when I began this blog, I intended to make an impact. To share my story in the hopes that at least one person would read it and see mental illness differently. That they would see a person who is outwardly successful and has built a life, although imperfect, for herself. To remind people that mental illness is everywhere, a day to day battle; and we need to stop treating it like a personal choice. To break the stigma in any way I can.
I chose this topic because it’s what I know. There are so many other issues that we need to break the stigma on… equality, for one. I’m hugely supportive (an ally, if you will) of the fight for equality, especially in marriage. I support it, but I have never been in that position. So I read others’ stories and do what I can to break the stigma.
Sometimes, though, things happen that aren’t because of hate, stigma, or mis-education. Things happen because they just happen.
Last Tuesday morning, December 30, 2014, Harper Alanna Wehneman moved on from her battle to, as many say, her forever home. She had battled cancer for 19 months, after being diagnosed with a Wilms' Tumor in May of 2013.
I didn’t actually know Harper. I work with her father, and remotely at that. But for the last 19 months, my family and I have followed Harper’s story, and have been so in awe of her strength and bravery. I know from her mother’s posts on her Caring Bridge site that there were so many things that Harper went through … allergic reactions to treatment meds, a severe fear of needles, and many infections throughout the process -- not to mention countless surgeries, procedures, and scans.
In June 2014, Harper was NED… No Evidence of Disease. There was a party. There was a celebration. Harper sang for everyone... "I want to see you be Brave"
Then, after her three-month scans, that ended, and a new fight began. A fierce fight. A brave fight.
Brave, by Sara Bareilles, became an anthem for Harper. You can read all about that here on her father Brian's blog. In fact, I encourage you to read Brian’s posts going back to May 2013. Read Harper’s journey. It may change you.
It has changed me. Today, in full support of Harper, we choose joy. We bravely choose joy. For Harper and all her family, we choose joy in the midst of sadness. Through the inevitable tears, we choose to remember her smile.
I share this today because Harper’s story has moved me. I want to do something about this monster, especially when it’s hitting kids. Harper didn’t get to live. There are a lot of things she won’t get to do on this Earth. While I believe that she will experience eternal beauty and peace, there are many of us left behind that will miss all she brought to this world. And many of us have the opportunity to do the things she won't.
So, today, push yourself. Not everyone has the option to choose joy at will. Those suffering from depression. Debilitating anxiety, or more severe mental disorders like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder… they are not always in control of their emotions. Some people don’t believe that, which is why we need to break the stigma and educate everyone we know.
But if you can, Choose Joy.
Let your words be anything but empty...
Say what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly...
I WANT TO SEE YOU BE BRAVE.
Be Brave. Channel your inner Harper. Shine on.
